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Thursday, March 01, 2007

A Deer Hunting Beard Histology

Deer Hunting enthusiasts are familiar with the phrase Deer Beard, but does anyone really know what the heck they are or why hunters insist on growing them?

Who are the DeerBeards?
DeerBeards are the beards grown by otherwise cleanly shaved men, solely for the hunting season. Hunting season is that fabled time of year when man and beast unite and husbands return to being Men. Men of the woods, Men who eat jerky, cold chili and say things like “If it's Brown, It's Down” and “If growing a beards wrong, I don't want to be right."

The main purpose of a Deer Beard is to provide warmth and protection for the hunter. Secondly, a beard directly connects the hunter to their primal roots. Since the dawn of time hunters have grown beards. This unwritten rule is known by all men and the beard of a hunter is not to be taken lightly.

Another benefit of growing a DeerBeard is that upon reaching day 5, any man can enter a suburban outfitters and feel right at home with the other ruggeds. Once timid, he can now confidently shop for blaze orange, discuss various types of doe urine and refer to everyone of his bearded com padres as “Buddy”.

A Deerbeard is the membership card into the club of men.

It says, “I take my coffee black, change my own oil and can a drop a deer from 200 yards”.

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