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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

My Beard feels Clumpy

Days till Glory: 10

I cant actually remember what or how I felt on that faraway August day when we decided to start preparing for Hunting Season, but I definitely remember how I looked. Clean, fresh, ready to take on another day in the Cube.

That Summer had been filled with the typical preperation for Deer Season like cleaning the jerky machine, freezing beef sticks and freshening scrapes with that perfect mixture of Doe Estrus and Trails End Number 307.

We had somehow decided that all the men in our crew of hunters would start growing beards on September 1st, in order to give our characters more substance and gravitas. (That quickly changed to the first Friday in August, hence my clumpy condition)

The itchy facial hair drove many of the guys in the crew insane, and there were even reports of 'accidential' trimming accidents in the first couple weeks. For reasons I could neither understand nor explain, I decided to keep mine for a while longer.

During those last few weeks of Autumn, my beard was a fresh and soft as crushed velvet...but as the weeks past and my beard grew messier and messier, things quickly got out of hand.

Now, it is 10 days before hunting season and I have ended up with a clumpy, burly mess.

What ever shall I do?

  1. Do I shave off the beard and enter the woods unprotected from Wind or Beast
  2. Do I ultize the beard as a second Drip by covering myself with #307
  3. Do I store my stand lunch in it?

There are several more options I am considering, yet one thing is for certain....My beard is a Clumpy Mess...

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